Regrets, I’ve had a few. Publishing my memoir isn’t one of them. In fact, when I considered NOT finishing my book, I knew it might be one of the biggest regrets of my life. That thought kept me going when the going got tough.
Writing my memoir and working through painful memories, was personal, profound, and sometimes exhausting. I wonder if it’s a familiar feeling for memoir authors. I was seriously sick of myself by the time I finished writing my book and I was convinced no one would want to read my story.
I started out the process of writing my book with the goal of writing a “self-help” book. Much like my forty-year career, I was good at seeing a problem, finding a solution, then teaching others how to overcome their problems. When I sent the first draft of my manuscript to my editor, she challenged me in big ways. She suggested that I change my book from a self-help about how you could heal your pain, to a memoir about how I healed mine.
When I received her first suggested edit, I put my manuscript down, and didn’t pick it back up for a year. Who would want to share the vulnerable details of their past and present pain with the world…not me! I wasn’t willing to risk that sort of emotional exposure. It took a year of deep contemplation and continued healing to come up with the courage to begin again and tell a story of my healing. I’m so glad I did. Without my vulnerable account, my book would be filled with a lot of advice instead of my journey of transformation. It might be the kind of book you’d pick up, but never finish.
The response from readers has been more than I imagined. Not only are people reading my book, but they’ve told me once they picked it up, they couldn’t put it down. But what I find much more significant, is that I’ve heard from hundreds of people who have been inspired by my painful story to find the courage in themselves to go back and look at theirs. I think in some ways, vulnerability is infectious. More times than I can count, I’ve heard, “If you can do it, maybe I can too.”
These kinds of messages arrive in my inbox daily:
“You don’t know me, but I want to say thank you for writing your story. A friend shared your book with me. Your book prompted me to bury my angst and reach out to my dad – we had not spoken since 2017, and that is such a blessing. Thank you, sweet lady, for sharing your story. Big hugs from a stranger and God Bless You. XOXO”
“I will be 80 next month and I believe your book will be instrumental I am helping me heal my past…”
“Two of my teenage daughters have the read the book. It makes great conversation about identifying feelings.”
“The reading of your book leaves me wondering…Is it time to unleash my stories. Rarely have a read a book where I found myself staring off into the distance thinking about past ‘stuff’.”
“It takes a lot of courage and discipline into return to your authentic self. Most people die with all that stuff inside because they don’t want to relive their hurtful life and get to know who they really are.”
“I cannot tell you have transformative your book was for me. I cried from the dedication page on. I really appreciate your candor and authenticity throughout the book.”
“I spent my afternoon reading your courageous book cover to cover. I started it with the intention of reading a few chapters, but I couldn’t put it down. Letha, your book is so heartbreaking, encouraging, and courageous. I think our generation pushed down feelings. I know I have. Your book encourages me to start digging a bit and face some on my own hurts.”
“This a beautifully written and well thought out road map for those of is us who experienced childhood trauma.”
“This book is a masterpiece. I couldn’t put it down and read it in a day! Letha’s vulnerability in sharing her story will give you courage to look at your own past and start your journey.”
“This book was by far one of the best true-life stories that brought trauma, abandonment, grief and healing through vulnerability and redemption. The author’s reflection will absolutely resonate with every reader. A must read for sure!”
These, and more messages like these, are a beautiful confirmation that the vulnerability I expressed in my memoir, exposing my feelings and experiences, were worth it. Being honest and transparent has inspired courage in many others and for that I’m deeply grateful. I hope if you have not picked up your copy of Pulling Up Dandelions ~ A Woman’s Journey to Redeem Her Adolescence,” you will. I’d love to share my vulnerable story with you.
Writing you with one less regret,
Letha
