It’s been 100 days since I announced my word for the year…DETACH. Other friends I know chose words like peace, love and joy. Little did I know when I chose the word detach that I was on my way to find more peace, love and joy. It’s been an amazing 100 days.
I have a powerful book I read each day as part of my morning routine that focuses on detachment. “Let Go Now” by Karen Casey has been a pivotal resource in my practice of detachment. I thought since I hit the half way point in the book, meditation #100, I’d write about some of what I’ve learned so far this year.
- Detachment takes longer than 100 days.
One of the things I appreciate about Casey’s book is that she reminds me often that detachment takes time. “We won’t learn how to detach on the first try, not even on the one-hundredth try. But we will make progress, and fleeting moments of peace will be our reward.” There’s a learning curve to detachment and I’m finding that practicing it has its own beautiful rewards. It kind of reminds me of the game of golf!
- It’s my ego that keeps me believing that I’m a necessary factor in the lives of my friends and family.
Some of the greatest peace has come in realizing that God is the key factor in everyones life which has allowed me to give up the burden of carrying others stuff. It’s not like I didn’t know that…but It’s one thing to know it, it’s another thing to live it. Continuing to look at and heal my wounded self has been a huge part of detachment because healing the ego is crucial in the goal of detachment. I’ve learned when your mind is noisy, that’s your ego. When you are afraid, that’s your ego. When you worry, that’s your ego. Your ego’s goal is to rob you of peace. Detaching from others lives creates room for me to work on my own stuff and heal my wounded ego which brings the peace I’m looking for.
- I show respect when I detach.
To not allow others, or not be allowed, to make personal choices limits my growth. Our time here is purposeful. If I steer others in a direction that is not right for them, or prevent their consequences from falling on them due to my interruptions, I have completely interfered with life’s purposes…theirs and mine. It’s somewhat “addictive” to be in other people’s business and that’s why it feels so freeing when you let go!
- Healthy relationships depend on us relying on God and not on our human support systems for our answers.
I’ve been a Jesus follower for most of my life, however, I still found myself dependent on people for my preservation and my support. Being too dependent on someone else for any reason doesn’t allow us to fully experience the sacred moments of our lives. Detachment has brought about a great dependence for me…on God. It’s been life changing!
- Families heal when detachment happens.
As I continue on this journey of practicing detachment, I see it affecting my family. When I’m not trying to control outcomes there’s more peace. When I’m not taking anyone hostage there’s more love and when I’m minding my own business there’s surely more joy. Peace, love and joy equals healing and that’s what Im after.
There’s not a day or quite frankly and hour that doesn’t pass, that I’m not practicing detachment. Sometimes it comes really naturally and other times I have to physically look away and offer up a prayer. The prayer usually sounds something like this, “God, help me to let go of the things that are not my business and could you do me a favor and point out something in my life that I need to change to become more of who you created me to be?” He always does. He’s faithful like that.
One hundred days. I only have one regret, that I didn’t start sooner. I don’t have control over that either so for today, I’ll focus on what I can do to live MY BEST LIFE and I’ll let the people I love do the same. That makes for a powerfully exciting life.
On a side note, if you don’t have Karen Casey’s book Let Go Now on your bookshelf, I’ll say a little prayer, that you’ll get it. And I’ll let go of it at that, because I can’t want detachment for you more than I want it for myself…I’ve learned that in the last 100 days as well.
I’ll check back with you as the year unfolds and let you know how I’m doing. I can only imagine.
Detaching with love,
Letha
